Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dan is Just One of the Idiots*

What did I say before about how I felt towards spring training double headers? Oh yeah, I hate them! Well, we had another one Tuesday and we found the solution to getting through game 2. Alcohol.

Before we get to all that happened in game 2, and believe me alot happened, let me take a second to talk about the afternoon game. Chris Shelton had 3 hits (2 doubles). Only one of which I saw (the bloop single, yeah me!) Okay, that's enough about baseball.

After cranking out the Tuesday and Wednesday shows Lil' Kid, Jen, and I headed to Glendale for Mariners/Dodgers game. Technically we were still working as I had to deliver a tape to Curtis (more on that jerk later) for the game broadcast. It was on the ride over that Jen said Dan was just one of the idiots meaning the male species. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment that I wasn't named or offended that apparently I'm not even part of the human race. Dan then proved his idiocy by trying to take a shortcut that completely backfired**.

As we walked into the stadium we were greeted by the p.a. announcer saying: "Ladies and Gentlemen throwing out the first pitch for tonight's game is the captain of the Phoenix Coyotes Shane Doan!" I won't lie I almost fainted. A smart guy would have been better prepared for the situation, I'm not that guy.

With my heart still aflutter we went and got our first beers of the game and some dinner. Before we could even make it to our seats Manny Ramirez cranked out his first homer of the spring. Why can't all spring training games be like this?!

When we finally got settled Jen and I got into two epic arguments. The first being who should be the backup first baseman. I of course am in the Chris Shelton camp. She is president of the Mike Sweeney fan club. Her flimsy argument is Sweeney provides better clubhouse leadership because Shelton never talks. My rock solid belief is that winning cures all clubhouse ails so you keep the guy hitting .500 because it gives you the better chance to win. I'm pretty sure I came out on top, but really are there any winners when you are arguing about who should be the Mariners backup first baseman? I didn't think so.

The second one came as we began our next beer and a certain basketball team sat in front of us.


Yes, that's the Purdue basketball team. Jen was upset saying that it should've been the Huskies and not Purdue in Glendale for the regional finals. I on the other hand was more than happy to yell (yes, it needed to be shouted at the top of my lungs) that I loved Purdue basketball solely because they beat the Huskies. Jen was not amused. I might have also made a Stu reference about Jen's love of the Huskies basketball team that didn't fly to well. The highlight though was when he who shall not be named sat down next to us and asked where the Purdue basketball team was sitting. Apparently all the tall guys wearing Purdue paraphernalia wasn't clear enough.

But no worries, we made up later when I bought her an In 'n Out burger. We then made it permanent.


So back to the game. The only thing better than the Purdue basketball team sitting in front of us were Heckyll and Jeckyll*** behind us.


That's actually Felix (left) and Alex (right, of course) from Phoenix and they were quite the comedy duo. Alex informed us that Felix was good enough to be on the field but chose beer over baseball. They are also the ones that asked why the Purdue basketball team had no black players to which they responded "they're all at the mall". Felix and Alex also bought us a round so for that we are eternally grateful.

The stadium cleared out pretty quickly in the last couple innings.


Or as Jen put it: it's only a quarter full. Wow, that was so much funnier last night.

After In 'n Out we mysteriously found our way to the skirt. I know hard to believe. But I swear this time it was Jen suggesting to Kevin Calabro that we meet there. That's right we drank at the skirt with KC. What a day indeed!

Last, but least, you'll notice there is only one Curt reference today. After spending lots of quality time this weekend he jilted me Tuesday for his lifelong boyfriend Paul. Curt couldn't count the time down fast enough in the afternoon before he could leave and be reunited with Paul in the truck at Glendale. Needless to say I felt a little hurt, doesn't he remember the good times we've had? Then to rub my nose in it they showed up at the skirt but they were attached at the hip. Good thing I have Jen 4ever because otherwise I'd be really hurting today. Needless to say, Curt and I are feuding.


* There were enough blog post titles thrown out last night to last the rest of the trip and a smart guy would save them. But, hey, you didn't come here for smart, so here are the other titles (that I can remember)
-I love vodka
-Dan is just one of the idiots
-The black guys are all at the mall
-I love Purdue
-He chose beer over baseball
-Where is the Purdue basketball team?
-Nice shortcut, moron
-Dan's not as sorry as she is
-I'm not a dumbass!

** In his defense there is no good way to get from the freeway to ballpark in Glendale.

*** Or Statler and Waldorf if you prefer.

1 comment:

Amy A said...

Now you know how I feel. I don't even try to compete with Paul.

Perhaps you could employ the phrase: "If you love something set it free..."